The Malfoy Code of Conduct
by Kandice
Summary: Draco continues family tradition and presents his son with the latest edition of The Malfoy Code of Conduct.
1. Foreward

The Malfoy Code of Conduct

**Author's Note:** I began posting this a few months back as a kind of preface to future fanfiction I have planned. However, it was deleted as this was reported as not a story, but a list. It was true, I suppose. So I've written a story around it now. Hopefully it won't ruin the Code itself.

**Disclaimer:**I am in no way affiliated with Harry Potter, JKRowling, or Warner Brothers. No money is being made off of this.

* * *

Ethan Malfoy, son of Draco Malfoy, and the latest of the Malfoy line lay sprawled over his bed, glaring up at the ceiling. Two days ago he had received for his thirteenth birthday, amongst other things, a giant tome on which the words, "Malfoy Code of Conduct" were inscribed. 

This present, while clearly the most important to be given to him, also caught his attention least. After all, if one must choose between the newest racing broomstick and a big dusty book...it really is an easy choice for most kids.

He had thanked him parents and promptly gone outside with his friends to play Quidditch. His parents hadn't minded. Draco, his father, understood the drudging task of reading their family's list of rules and regulations.

"Most of the rules," Draco had said, "Are a bit ridiculous and you can easily get away with not following. Really, the secret to The Malfoy Code of Conduct is common sense. As long as you use that, you should be fine."

And so, knowing that he was expected to read it before Winter Holidays came to a close, he had taken it upon himself to finally read the book.

He stared at the leather bound cover morosely. The title stood out, printed in silver, and the Malfoy emblem sat at the bottom of the cover. It looked like any other older book that could be found in the vast library on the four floor of the Malfoy Manor in Wiltshire.

His father had assured him, however, that the book was not a thousand years old as it looked. It was just over eight, actually. At that point his father had left the room muttering something about ancestors and enchantments. Also, Ethan could have sworn he heard the words, "baboons with bloody sticks."

The boy smiled slightly and flipped the cover open.

* * *

**Malfoy Code of Conduct  
**Written by Icarius Malfoy, b. A.D. 330  
Last updated by Draco Malfoy, 2004

**Table of Contents  
**_**Foreward**_

_Section 1: of Birth and Death  
_i. Requirements of birth  
ii. Acceptable circumstances of death  
iii. Procreating

_Section 2: of Food, Appearance, Behaviour, and Shelter  
_i. Acceptable food and drink  
ii. Acceptable Appearance  
iii. Acceptable Behavior  
iv. Concerning the Malfoy's Word  
v. Acceptable Living Standards

_Section 3: Business Conduct  
_i. Regarding others  
ii. Regarding self  
iii. Important note that deserves a Roman numeral of its own

_Section 4: Leisure Conduct  
_i. Foreward  
ii. Regarding others  
iii. Regarding self

_Section 5: Relating  
_i. On platonic relationships  
ii. On 'romance'

_Section 6: of Enemies and Warring  
_i. Foreward  
ii. Ostensible treatment of enemies  
iii. Secretive treatment of enemies  
iv. Siding during wars

_Section 7: in Practising Magic  
_i. Requirements  
ii. On Dark Magic

_**Closing Notes**_

* * *

Ethan raised an eyebrow, thinking to himself, "There is a section on procreating?" 

"This is ridiculous," he muttered to himself, popping a truffle into his mouth from the tin of never-ending truffles and other fine confectionaries. It was one of the presents he had received from his parents, although his father wasn't aware of it.

He emitted a sigh and scanned the table of contents again.

"The foreward…and so it begins."

**

* * *

**

**Malfoy Code of Conduct  
**– **Foreward by Draco Malfoy–**

It really is rather interesting, I think, that in the beginning, when I had been given the grudging task of rewriting the _Malfoy Code of Conduct_,I wasn't terribly excited about it. I wasn't in the slightest bit interested, to tell the truth. The truth of the matter is that I have better things to do than sit around rewrite a giant tome.

So, it's taken me about six years to actually get the motivation to do such a daunting project. How long it's taken me to do the actual writing is exactly five months and seven days. Rewriting rules, adding onto them, making others more accurate, and making completely different ones isn't as simple as you may think. Especially with the ridiculous amount of rules that there are.

Something to keep in mind about the _Code_ is that it's terribly archaic. It's been updated every one hundred years, give or take, since Midas' time, but 1893 really is a very different time than 2004. So much had to be updated. The problem is that the rules cannot be taken off. Malfoys are free to add on and revise, but taking a rule and completely getting rid of it is out of the question. It's simply not possible due to the enchantments that are placed on each book.

A note on the enchantments- they're also very archaic and it took me two weeks to figure them all out...what's rather depressing is that I had complete instructions to them, as well. Eternity Charms are embedded into this book and all the past _Code_ books. Once a new one is written, the old one loses its magic, and infuses the new book thus causing the latest one to look like it was thrown into a herd of stampeding elephants even though it hasn't left my desk once in the five months I've been writing it.

After getting well into Section 1 of this book, though, I was very amused. Here I was writing the book over again and able to add my own words, thought, and opinion into it. What other way to make my future generations more interested in reading this book than by being obnoxiously sarcastic on some of these with comments?

I have to mention also that most of the older comments have been erased by me because they were unreadable due to some of our ancestors' illegible handwriting and spelling. Also, let's all thank the Great Vowel Shift or else I would have been completely lost.

So I present you with the latest edition of the _Malfoy Code of Conduct_. Hopefully five months of attempting to be witty paid off and will make this more amusing for all of you. As far as I know, my main portrait is going to be in the Lake Wing of the Manor so be sure to visit me after I'm dead. It'll be appreciated. I cannot stand the thought of having no one to talk to but our ancestors. Sweet Merlin, Nyx Malfoy, for leading such an interesting life, has very boring tales she likes to tell. Stupid bint.


	2. Section 1: of Birth and Death

**Malfoy Code of Conduct**

Ethan couldn't help but smile at the Foreward. There was no doubt that his father had written that. According to everyone that he knew, Draco Malfoy had been a smug bastard when he was younger and sarcasm was a dangerous weapon in his hands. What made Ethan proudest was that Headmaster Dumbledore had said on many occasions that he was very much like his father.

His mother, however, was quick to always mention that "smug bastard" was not a good thing to be known as.

The young Malfoy didn't mind, though. It took a lot of effort to make his father very angry. Mother had told him that when he was at Hogwarts he had a very short temper. Why that had changed, no one really knew.

His father was fairly patient with people these days. People who had known him since school couldn't help but be surprised at his turnaround.

Granted, there were still many people, even now after the defeat of Voldemort, that were weary about trusting the Malfoys. Those people, however, weren't very important individuals and their opinions mattered little, as the government hadn't changed much and still didn't much see why it was necessary to deal directly with it's people. It was a bad idea on their part, but the system still worked.

The boy looked at his broomstick and then at the window longingly, but reluctantly transferred his gaze onto the book.

"Okay...section one," he muttered.

* * *

**Section 1: of Birth and Death**

_i. Requirements of Birth_

_Rule No. 1. Every Malfoy must have a suitably complicated and obscure name, preferably of Latin or Greek origin_

Names from history of mythology are acceptable only if they have suitably sinister and intimidating connotations. Or, at least make it sounds cool. Every Malfoy is exactly unique by birthright, therefore it is important to remind the world of this fact. And what better way to do it than by giving the newborn Malfoy a unique, high-class name?

_Rule No. 2. No Malfoy may be named 'Joy' or 'Grace' or something similarly nauseating._

This, essentially, is an extension of rule #1, but it is so important that special attention must be given to it.

_Rule No. 3. Malfoys have a first and last name. No more._

Each Malfoy is already unique from the second he is born. There is no need to give six or seven different names. No one named Vincent Christophe Jerome William Cesar Karat le Morset III ever got anywhere in life. (Fun fact: he was actually bitten by a vampire at the age of 24 and was found dead in an alleyway the next morning.)

_Rule No. 4. At three months, the new Malfoy child must have a ceremony held in the Malfoy Ancestral Home, introducing him into society._

All acquaintances of the parents should have an invitation to this event. Regardless if you enjoy the other's company or not, they should receive an invitation. Perhaps if luck in on your side, they will not come.

_Rule No. 5. Malfoys must only be born within the months of October through March._

If at all possible, this would be appreciated. It is much easier to remember birthdays if they are closer to each other within the year. Although, to be quite honest, not a thing will happen if the child isn't.

_Rule No. 6. Heirlooms and money are your friends._

The ills that may befall a wealthy, high-profiled member of society! Bathing in luxuries everyday isn't all fun and games. There is no reason not to start training the Malfoy children in handling money at a young age – it can only be beneficial. Hence, each Malfoy should, at birth, be given a) a ridiculous amount of money with which to serve his every whim and b) a wealth of 'family heirlooms.' Ideally, the child should own nothing that _isn't_ a 'highly valuable heirloom' – not even a nappy. After all, what indicates an old, prestigious, mysterious family more than a hoard of valuables?

Should the occasion arise that there rests no more objects to be given as heirlooms, do not hesitate to Apparate to the nearest high-end boutique and buy some. We suggest Regent Hall Inc., 128 Witchverly Hills, Hogsmeade – quality and sophistication for all the family! A few more heirlooms never hurt anyone.

_ii. Acceptable circumstances of death_

_Rule No. 1. Malfoys do not die for honour; we die to spite honour. Should misfortune befall the unlucky Malfoy, you must keep in mind that we do not die 'on accident.' Our death always means something._

Hence, no Malfoy may die in the following manners:

Valiantly in war  
-To avenge the death of the righteous  
-In aid of another, a non-Malfoy  
-From an astray curse  
-In the crossfire  
-In an explosion  
-Keeling over for unknown reasons

It is much better to be poisoned, than 'accidentally' hexed. At least poison is directed at you. Should someone be attempting to murder you, be proud. You are important enough to be wanted dead!

See section 5, article i. For further information on conduct of this form.

_Rule No. 2. A Malfoy that renounces his family name shall die immediately._

Rather self-explanatory, really.

_Rule No. 3. Death wishes are not well looked upon, however, they seem to draw attention. So, if put on the spot, make it worthy._

Something that could possibly help your family of the time, or the future Malfoy generations would be considered a smart choice. Another smart choice is to get out of the sticky situation you are in. Amazing how no one seems to thing of that.

_Rule No. 4. Committing suicide will result in a lovely trip down to visit our favorite relative, Hades._

That, and Malfoys for generations to come will consider you a great pansy. Not to mention- you will not get the honour ofhaving a portrait made of you and hung in the Ancestral Malfoy home. Besides, if you kill yourself, chances are you're going to be missing out on some really great sex— er, you'll be missing out on your inheritance! Then again, it _will_ be more for whoever is next in line, but you should be thinking of yourself, not the lucky bastard after you.

_iii. Procreating_

_Rule No. 1. Malfoys are made, not born_

Because Malfoys are such an important part of society, the continuity of the Malfoy line is vital. Furthermore, the calibre of the Malfoy line must be maintained– we wouldn't want to rob society of its best and influential members, after all.

But it is important to note that every Malfoy child is a product of his father's making (not in that way, cretin.)

_Rule No. 2. A suitable mother is preferable_

Note the following characteristics when seeking a woman to further the Malfoy line:

Blonde  
-Tall  
-Aristocratic  
-Beautiful  
-Pureblood

Everything else is perfectly optional. See section 5, article ii. For further requirements of the (recognised) Malfoy female.

_Rule No. 3. The quality of the Malfoy line must be kept pure_

Therefore, practising safe and innocuous methods of disposing of...er...burdens is quite acceptable. Not that a Malfoy would ever use them, of course. And _do_ attempt to keep a leash on it, if only for the sake of family name and purity. However, if you can avoid being discovered...

* * *

"Father," Ethan muttered as he got up from the bed. "This is utter rubbish. I love it." 

He was almost disappointed that he wasn't the generation in charge of rewriting the Code. It seemed to him that his father spent the whole time writing drunk.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying it. Sorry this hasn't been up sooner, but I've had some importantfamily issues come up. It was a fairly unpleasant Spring Break here. The next chapter should be out sooner. More likely then not, it will be this upcoming weekend considering I have class only Monday and Tuesday. (Yay for random five-day weekends!) All the best!


	3. Section 2: of Food, Appearance, Behavior

**Malfoy Code of Conduct**

It wasn't his fault he hadn't picked up the Code in over three days. Ethan had been busy. His parents had whisked him off to Aruba for a few days and he had _forgotten_ to bring the book along. Ethan was confidant his father would understand that, really, it was his fault that he hadn't been able to read more about their _exciting _family rules.

Draco was less than amused with his son's excuse, "You should have taken it with you."

"I know, but I completely forgot," Ethan tried to continue but his father held up a hand to stop him.

"Fine, then a quick test on the Table of Contents, the Foreward, and Section One."

"Father! You expect me to memorize the Table of Contents?"

In reply, Draco simply smirked.

A few minutes later, Ethan was out of his father's office holding a piece of parchment that had "Test!" written at the top in very intricate lettering, then no less than fourteen questions."

"How utterly ridiculous," Ethan muttered, shooting a dark glare at the parchment.

As if it had heard, question number fifteen magically appeared below the last question.

"Rubbish!" the boy exclaimed and watched in horror as another question started to write itself out. "I'm sorry!"

The question paused, as if in thought, and then disappeared.

Ethan let out a quiet sigh of relief and entered his room, setting the parchment on his desk and staring down morosely at it. He then turned around and threw himself onto his bed. This was not his day, though. Landing on the Malfoy Code of Conduct can be rather painful, he learned that day.

* * *

**Section 2: of Food, Appearance, Behavior, and Shelter**

_i. Acceptable food and drink_

_Rule No. 1. Malfoys may only drink water from well protected underground springs._

A Malfoy should only ever drink the cleanest and crispest water. Well-protected meaning no possibilities for the water to be contaminated. It does not matter how you go about assuring this, as long as it is done.

_Rule No. 2. None of this butterbeer nonsense._

This applies to all Malfoys the age of sixteen and over. Butterbeer is a drink for those that either cannot afford a truly fine wine, or for small children who wish to feel important.

_Rule No. 3. The wine cellar must always be full._

Restocking is, and has been for centuries, always on the 21st day of every month. This is a Malfoy tradition. Always take more, depending on your own drinking habits, and keeping in mind that your wife may pop a surprise dinner at any time.

_Rule No. 4. Absolutely no Marmite!_

Where this insane rage for this food is unknown. It is strangely appealing, but much too messy. Do not eat it, or in any way come into contact with it, and the mess afterwards should not be a problem.

_Rule No. 5. To maintain the traditional luscious locks of the Malfoy name, protein-high foods are to be part of a Malfoy's daily diet._

These foods include, but are not limited to: cheese, fish, eggs, seeds, and nuts. You must keep your hair looking shiny and vibrant-looking.

_Rule No. 6. Do not play with your food._

If you don't want to eat it– don't. How difficult is this concept that people forget about it? No one is forcing you to eat anything.

_Rule No. 7. Malfoys over the age of 25 must maintain an alcohol level ranging from 0.01 to 0.05 during weekends._

No reason for this one. Julius Malfoy just found life more interesting when utterly pissed.

_  
ii. Acceptable appearance_

_Rule No.1. A Malfoy's hair must always be a shocking blonde – and luminous._

It has been said that all Malfoys, with a simple tilt of their heads, could easily blind an opponent if the sunlight struck their hair in the precise angle.

_Rule No. 2. No hair should be out of place– ever._

_Rule No. 3. Hair dye is unacceptable._

Why you would want to change your hair color in the first place is beyond anyone.

_Rule No. 4. Malfoys must be attractive and devilishly good looking at all times._

This includes four o'clock in the morning after being attacked viciously by a manticore.

_Rule No. 5. A Malfoy must never be seen –in or out of public– wearing the following colors: yellow, orange, or pink._

Female Malfoys, however, may wear fuschia on alternate Mondays and Thursdays.

_Rule No. 6. Dark colors for your clothing is preferred._

It looks strikingly beautiful against your hair.

_Rule No. 7. Donning muggle clothing within any and all Malfoy estates is out of the question._

Think about what people would say!

_Rule No. 8. Gold or silver_

Preferably silver to match the Malfoy crest.

_  
iii. Acceptable behavior_

_Rule No. 1. You smile because your devious plan is moving along as planned._

No puppies.

_Rule No. 2. Smirking at every opportunity for no reason is not only permitted, but greatly encouraged._

Go ahead and abuse this privilege.

_Rule No. 3. An unamused expression is your best friend._

This makes people nervous around you. They're too busy worrying that a Malfoy has found them unworthy while you go about what needs to be done.

_Rule No. 4. Arrogance!_

This cannot be stressed enough! You are a Malfoy! You are better than everyone else– and not only do you know it, but they do too. Strut!

_Rule No. 5. Panicked looks will not be tolerated._

Calm and collected. Always. Panic makes us look as if we aren't sure what is happening. No one must come to that conclusion.

_Rule No. 6. Malfoys do not sulk._

However, you are free to brood in a dark corner as long as you remain unseen.

_Rule No. 7. Malfoys do not pout._

Instead, you may take on the expression of 'highly displeased.' Pouting is most unbecoming.

_Rule No. 8. Malfoys do not bite/chew their nails._

Manicures, my dear Malfoys. Schedule appointments at least one week in advance so that you do not have to threaten anyone later on. Threatening takes up quite a bit of time. This time could be spent getting your nails to look their best. Merlin's Pulchritudinous Nail Salon has served the family since 1865. (Located at 19 Venus Edge, Ireland. )

_Rule No. 9. A Malfoy must maintain a pale skin tone._

This really shouldn't be a problem as, genetically, Malfoys all seem to burn, on average, a nice fiery lobsterred within an hour of getting outside on an especially sunny summer day. Try to keep the redness to a minimum, too. It gets messy because your skin will start to peel and you do not want to have your nose striped. The Sun has no pity for our family, which is good, in a sense. We need no one's pity!

_Rule No. 10. A Malfoy's demeanor should always look intimidating when dealing with non-Malfoys._

This is to keep everyone in their places. With one menacing look a Malfoy should be able to have the person in front of them cowering.

_Rule No. 11. No squeezing juice of any kind._

Really, this is common sense. How strange do you think you would look squeezing a pumpkin? This is the reasonwe keephouse elves!

_Rule No. 12. No Malfoy should be caught eavesdropping._

This is not to say that they cannot do such a thing. Simply do not get caught in the act. And anyway, a Malfoy should not have to eavesdrop in the first place. With a carefully thought out question and one threatening look you should be able to know the answer.

_Rule No. 13. Confidenceis key._

Arrogance and confidence go hand in hand, so this should be a given. However, just to make sure... Once in a while, there may be something you are not er– fully informed about. This gives you the right to ask any questions regardless if they are obvious. You may ask these casually because you are confidant. No question is a stupid question if it is asked by a Malfoy. _You_ are the one that makes sure of that.

_Rule No. 14. Patience..._

...is not something Malfoys seem to have much of. However, it is important. Therefore- you must learn to be patient. Adonis Malfoy got nowhere with his rushed suicide. Had he planned it out, and possibly waited two more days, he could have invited plenty of people and had a spectacular suicide.

_Rule No. 15. Do not give up or fail._

Both are looked down upon. Malfoys get what they want. Therefore- giving up is not something they would do. Common sense coming into play here, really. As the latest in the prestigious Malfoy line, you do not fail in anything and everything should go your way in everything. Top marks in classes, and always winning any and all games is expected.

_Rule No. 16. No cross-dressing._

Nothing against it, but this will just not be tolerated by the Malfoys. I suppose a non-Malfoy would call this a drawback, but anyone that cross-dresses, in our eyes, will be lumped into the 'weirdo' grouping. Many apologies for that one.

_Rule No. 17. Do not lie._

Lying is a form of weakness. However, the truth may be omitted. If you are clever enough to do that. Our favorite tactic, though, is brutal honesty with a hint of sarcasm.

_Rule No. 18. No drooling._

It's grotesque and utterly revolting.

_Rule No. 19. Fear is weakness._

Therefore, it would be a brilliant idea to conquer any and all fears before going anywhere in life.

_iv. Concerning the Malfoy's Word_

_Rule No. 1. Every Malfoy keeps his Word._

Rather vague, isn't this? Use that.

_Rule No. 2. A Malfoy's Word is the closest thing to making a deal with the Devil._

Keep in mind, everything exchanged is non-refundable and we do not accept souls as a form of payment. Money or something else of great value is preferred. If not possible, then consider the other to maybe employ the other or make them a serf at one of the Manors.

_Rule No. 3. Do not make promises you know you cannot keep_

...unless there's something in it for you and you are sure that the person can be manipulated and/or easily gotten rid of so you don't end up having to go through with the promise, anyway.

_v. Acceptable living standards_

_Rule No. 1. Malfoy Manor, located in Malfoy Park, Wiltshire, Great Britain, United Kingdom, must remain how it is._

Feel free to add a gargoyle here or there, but the basic architecture must remain the same. There is no other home, today, that can rival the elegance and calibre of Malfoy Manor. It is important to make sure this is the case always.

_Rule No. 2 At the least, three house elves must be er– employed within every Malfoy home._

_Rule No. 3. Apart from Malfoy Manor, at least one other estate must be owned._

This other home should be out of the country in case you, for some reason, are banned from Britain. Of course, due to the outrageous amount of money that we are in possession of...there is no reason for you to be banned. Still, purely of paranoia, get another place for yourself. It may come in handy some day.

_Rule No. 4. Malfoys are to only live amongst other wizards._

To live with muggles or anywhere near them would be an atrocious crime against the family.

_Rule No. 5. On Malfoy grounds, there must either be a lake, or a Quidditch Pitch installed._

You must keep your guests happy, after all. If at all possible, install a Quidditch Pitch _over_ a lake– it is more fun watching someone fall into a lake in freezing temperatures than someone falling to the ground and killing themselves instantly.

* * *

With that thought in his head, he lifted himself off of the bed and made his way across the room to his desk, where the test awaited him. To his relief, no more questions had been added, so he sat himself down and shot a glance out the window. 

"I wonder how many people have actually died on our Quidditch Pitch," he thought aloud before going back to his work.

He received an answer instantly, although via test question:

_Sixteen. Did you know we have pictures in the library?

* * *

_

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for the reviews! I'm glad that you are enjoying my story, and I apologize for the inconsistency in updating. I have finished school, though, so hopefully that will give me more free time to write and update. Thank you for staying with this, and I hope this chapter proved just as entertaining as the others.


	4. Section 3: Business Conduct

**Malfoy Code of Conduct**

Being a Malfoy wasn't easy. Being a Malfoy that makes his father proud takes a considerable amount of effort. It is disappointing to announce that this didn't happen often, according to all the portraits of past family members.

Ethan had spent a day talking to the portraits after he had asked his parents a question about some family history at brunch one morning. His mother had been the one who suggested starting with Nyx Malfoy.

The boy had known it was a bad idea from the expression of horror that his father had taken on when his mother had said the name. Now he was stuck listening to his ancestor talk for hours on end. He wouldn't be surprised to learn that the sun had already set and he had missed dinner.

Nyx Malfoy was a lady of many words when she was alive, and as a painting she somehow had gained much more to talk about. How she managed to continue talking so long without stopping was a mystery. A bigger mystery was why, despite the amount of times people have thought about it, no one had yet torn down her portrait and shredded it to tiny strips.

Of course, it figured that the few times she stopped to let him talk, he said the wrong thing. He had somehow mentioned that Draco had rewritten the Malfoy Code of Conduct due to the Fifth Generation rule and Nyx had been so thrilled, she demanded Ethan read some of it to her.

Surely it would be wrong of him to decline, so he muttered a quick _Accio! _charm and the book landed in his hands.

The portrait raised an eyebrow at the book and sniffled, "_That_ is the new book? Young Malfoy, surely you jest."

Ethan blinked. After a moment he cleared his throat slightly, "Er...I jest not."

"It looks as worn as when my husband was charged with holding onto it!" she exclaimed.

"Father says that it's because of all the archaic charms on it."

"Draco Malfoy is a lazy imbecile," Nyx said quite calmly.

The boy was tempted to mention that his father thought Nyx was a stupid bint, but bit his tongue.

"He could have just as easily enchanted it to look new after putting on the Eternity Charm. Any idiot can do that," she sighed. "Maybe you'll turn out better than Lucius Malfoy's son."

It was that moment in which Loki, the portrait located next to Nyx, had had enough of his wife's voice and interrupted, "I think Draco turned out fine, my dearest wife. You always spoke so well of Lucius and look how he ended up. The man didn't even get a portrait. It's a disgrace."

"I blame Draco and Narcissa for leading his father to his decisions." Nyx replied vehemently.

Loki tilted his head slightly, "Woman! Are you daft? Lucius didn't listen to anyone! Had he listened to his wife every once in a while, he probably would have been better off. Not to mention- alive today!"

"Hush! Both of you, cease and desist your ridiculous bantering. The child knows nothing of this, and I feel Draco should tell him what happened when he deems the boy old enough.," interjected yet another ancestor in the painting across from Loki.

Nyx scowled at no one in particular, "Calypso, darling, interrupting others is so very rude."

Ethan had remained silent through this whole exchange and only now had come up with the idea of exiting the hall now. He had never liked hearing people argue, and this was no exception. He had almost reached the corner when Nyx shrieked that he come back.

Without second thought, he dashed around the corner and ran directly into someone.

Draco caught his son before he fell and smiled slightly, with a raised eyebrow in polite enquiry, "Really, Ethan, you don't need to carry the Code with you all the time."

Ethan nodded. He remembered what Nyx and Loki had said about Lucius, his grandfather, but decided to ask about it later. Right now he wanted nothing more than to get out of there.

"Dad, can we go?"

"I have to see Loki, first, since I'm already here. Points to him for being married to Nyx when he was alive, and now in death he has to deal with her, too," Draco whispered as they turned back into the hallway with the portraits.

"Draco Malfoy!" Nyx screeched. (Ethan winched and sympathized with everyone who came into contact with her unexpectedly.) "Read us some of the new Code that your son speaks so fondly of.

"I actually have to be headed off. I have a meeting with the Minister of Magic in a few minutes. I'm sure my son will be thrilled to read a section for you, Nyx."

Having said that, he quickly walked off shooting an apologetic look at his son before he disappeared.

"You may continue wherever you wish, young Malfoy," Loki commented before his wife managed to get another word in.

With a glare after his father, he opened the book and started reading aloud.

* * *

**Section 3: Business Conduct**

_i. Regarding others_

_Rule No. 1. Always wait to be asked._

Volunteering makes your motives look suspicious. Any dolt can see that this is not a good thing. Especially if your motives really _are_ not the best...which, let's be realistic: You're a Malfoy. It's not likely your motives are to become a Saint. You're an evil bastard by association, if nothing else.

_Rule No. 2. Answer only the question asked and make them prompt you for more information._

Technically, as a Malfoy, you needn't tell anyone anything if you don't wish to. The fact that you are answering a ridiculous question of some bastard of lower status not only earns you more admiration, but also gives you the right to be as vague as the questions itself. Ex. "What is four added to seventeen?" You may simply answer, "A mathematical equation." It is through no fault of your own that the inquirer was not more specific.

_Rule No. 3. You _must_ answer to no one._

A bit of an add-on to Section 3, Article i., Rule No. 2 (see the rule above, for Merlin's sake). Others should know, without even being told, that you are there because you want to be, and you are doing something because it is your choice to do so.

_Rule No. 4. A position at the Ministry of Magic is preferred._

Although, anything in the Wizarding world would be great, really. (Except: Muggle-Worthy Excuse Committee. No one must know we have a fantastic sense of humour!) No silly muggle occupations, either. Seven years at a Wizarding school and you take a muggle job? Embarrassing for the family, really.

_Rule No. 5. The female Malfoy will not conduct business directly._

The Malfoys pride themselves on everything from blinding blonde hair, to gorgeous looks and unlimited knowledge. However, we are a bit of an old-fashioned family and therefore, the wife will never be seen directly conducting outside business of any kind apart from spending money to make herself look even more stunning than she already is, _unless completely necessary_. However, she is free make any and all financial and business decisions out of the public eye.

_Rule No. 6. Do not anger the Swiss._

Nothing good will come of it. Switzerland is a lovely country, and they have some of the loveliest chocolates. (And we Malfoys do love our chocolate truffles.) You should also be aware of consequences that other countries could pose for angering them— The Germans, without thought, may want to wage war on you. The Japanese will surely aim for Malfoy Harbour in Ireland. Poland, well, you probably shouldn't talk to them at all as they seem rather unstable and can hold grudges for a very long time. The Americans will probably set a certain Reverend Jessie Jackson on the family. Mexico will seem friendly enough, offer you plenty of tequila and then, rather unexpectedly, will shoot you with one of those muggle things– except these will have a much more intricate design on them. Italy will set one of their many Mafias after you. Promoting stereotypes? Perhaps But, it's quite possibly true. Therefore, keep your enemies to a minimum, please.

_Rule No. 7. Should a Malfoy owe a life debt– you are expected to pay it back whatever way possible._

Whether this be by money, your first son, whatever it is, take care of it.

_Rule No. 8. If you can't win through the usual methods— cheat_

Anything to get what you want.

_Rule No. 9. Malfoys should always seem as if they are working harder than everyone else._

Who knows, maybe you'll find yourself with the title of Minister due to this. Although, really, being Minister is such a bother. Don't let that be your goal. You have very little control over all. You'll regret it later. Make something of that. If you are offered position of Minister of Magic, perhaps you could decline, and suggest your enemy be given the position, instead. A grand speech should be done, as well. The papers will honour you for doing such a thing and your popularity can only grow. However, this is merely a suggestion. Should you ignore this, and accept the position of Minister of Magic, don't fuck it up.

_Rule No. 10. Insist others go before you._

This will be taken as a generous act. However, that isn't the motive behind it. Letting others go before you, will give you the chance to learn from their mistakes. Or, if they are ahead of you on a path and suddenly fall, you'll know to omit that part of the path so you don't meet the same unfortunate end.

_ii. Regarding self_

_Rule No. 1. If you are incorrect about a certain detail, simply nod in understanding._

There is no need to issue any apologies. If possible, and done subtly, you may easily get rid of the correct opposed view to make you feel better. However, be advised that you should rarely, if ever, be proven wrong.

_Rule No. 2. It is only stealing if you get caught._

Of course, the best course of action here is to not get caught. Being a Malfoy, this shouldn't be terribly difficult.

_Rule No. 3. Act as if you know exactly what's going on— even if you haven't got the slightest notion._

It wouldn't look very good if someone were to find that you, the latest of the Malfoy line, are a blubbering idiot. This is because you most certainly are _not!_ If you are asked for your opinion, you've no obligation to reply. Tell them that you're undecided at the moment and maybe if they modified their idea, you'd think about it.

_Rule No. 4. Refrain from uttering generic statements when you are otherwise at a loss for words._

These instances could turn out to be very embarrassing. The best way to avoid these is to not know any statements that could fall under the 'generic' category. Really, though, save yourself the embarrassment and save others from thinking you're possibly an idiot.

_iii. Important note that deserves a Roman numeral of its own_

_Maintaining supreme power in business._

"Knowledge is power. Power is money. Money is power." 

Greed is self-perpetuating. Despite what we are taught about greed, in one way or another everyone is greedy. Our family has no limits when it comes to money and knowledge. So, in turn- we have a great amount of power. Still, to be successful in business you must consider the way those lesser than us think. You must think- how can they survive in a system based solely on the will to have power? "Power is money." This is the roughest and the most ingenuous way of earning and maintaining power. This simple rule of social hierarchy easily throws away those with no money, and still you are faced with opponents of high class. So how have Malfoys maintained supreme power over so many years? Illegal Enterprises. Well done.

* * *

Ethan managed to finish before one in the morning only due to Loki finally hitting his wife over the head with a candlestick. The boy was sure that had someone written down all of Nyx's comments and critiques, they would have formed a book of their own, and possibly bigger than the Malfoy Code of Conduct let alone the onesection he had just read.

When he finally got to his room, he dropped the book onto his desk and dropped down into his bed only to, once again, land on a somewhat solid object. Tiredly, he pulled it out from under him and muttered a charm to light the candles in his room.

What he had landed on was a leather satchel full of coins. He looked at the short note attached to it written in his Dad's handwriting.

_Ethan-_  
_Hopefully our ancestors didn't bore you to death.  
__I've enclosed fifty galleons, and my sincere apologies.  
__Your father,  
__Draco Malfoy

* * *

_

_**Author's Note:** _It was much too difficult not having a plot of some kind while writing. Hopefully it didn't drag. Let me know what you think!


	5. Section 4: Leisure Conduct

**Malfoy Code of Conduct**

* * *

**Section 4: Leisure Conduct**

_i. Forward_

With Malfoys, leisure conduct is whenever, wherever. So far, we know that Malfoys are better than the rest of the world. To prove this once again, you should feel free to do as you wish when the mood hits you. This includes in the middle of a meeting with the Minister of Magic. _(Note: Minister Robert Devlin, 1882, was an idiot. He was an idiot that talked too much but never had anything to say. Julius Malfoy, in the midst of a battle between the Minister and the Department of Magical Games and Sports, called for everyone to settle down, then took his family to Switzerland for a week.)_ Leisure time is important to take alone, as well as with the family. While it is not requirement to have 'fun' while spending time away from business, it is secretly recommended. It's good to not worry about anything once ever year or so. If you wish for proof of this fact, feel free to consult any of the family portraits. Warning: They will be peeved with you for bothering them, but eventually will try and talk you to death. They all stand strictly with the Code of Conduct, so be sure to refer to section 3, article one, rule no. 2, before attempting to inquire about anything. Also, make yourself look presentable. Especially your hair.

_ii. Regarding others_

_Rule No. 1. The wife is to Paris, as the dementor is to Azkaban._

Deal with it. Be sure to accompany her at least once every four years. Show off that you have the patience to deal with the bint's ridiculous shopping sprees. It will keep your wife happy. It will keep your standing with society high. How many other men can put up with their wives' obsessions with clothing and shoes?

_Rule No. 2. Teach your son Quidditch._

Impress upon him that he is expected to be on his House team at school. It is up to you to make sure he's good enough, though. If you must, take time off work and spend time teaching the basics and techniques. Rules need not be taught as they do not apply to the Malfoys.

_Rule No. 3. Feel free to curse the person that dares interrupt your leisure time._

That should teach them a lesson!

_Rule No. 4. Keep your temper in check._

No use getting excited during your period of relaxation. A simply curse or hex with do away with whatever threatens your time of leisure.

_Rule No. 5. Seduction is perfectly in order._

Again, be sure to refrain from getting caught, or your vacation will have been all for nothing.

_Rule No. 6. Teach your son how to use a weapon of some sort other than his wand._

Oh, grow up. A sword is the perfect weapon for your son to learn on. Whatever the weapon is, he should be well-trained in using it for defense by the age of acceptance into school.

_iii. Regarding self_

_Rule No. 1. Do your own shopping._

This will help you from looking utterly ridiculous. Not that it's possible for a Malfoy to look ridiculous. Still, best do your own shopping than let your undoubtedly _creative_ wife do it.

_Rule No. 2. Do not attempt to tan._

A true Malfoy will turn a bright red within forty minutes of sitting outside at the edge of the pool. Crimson isn't really a good color for Malfoys, though. (Unless it's a crimson robe made of the finest satin. If that's the case, proceed.)

_Rule No. 3. You will not bring work to leisure time._

Because I say so!

_Rule No. 4. Should you feel the need to celebrate the rising of the sun with half a dozen bottles of Firewhiskey– do so in an orderly fashion._

The world need not know of your alcoholic tendencies. Also, be sure to not drink directly from the bottle. Our family certainly has enough glasses and you should feel free to put them to good use. The crystal glasses are particularly nice. I simply cannot imagine what a Weasley would do to get his hands on just one.

_Rule No. 5. Remember— you are self-absorbed._

Not even vacation means you can afford to look horrible.

_Rule No. 6. During this time, it would possibly be a good idea to learn to play an instrument of some sort._

Any instrument would good. It is preferable if the instrument has a strange name, possibly a mandolin. Or, if you simply do not have talent with instruments, perhaps you could try crooning softly in the moonlight. Such rituals stretch back to even before the Malfoy line began, when on the full moon people would chant and croon to ask for luck in whatever they needed it for the upcoming month. Dolts. Apparently they didn't know that the moon was a chunk of rock and not a God of some sort.

* * *

"Young Master Malfoy!"

Ethan blinked and looked up from the book. He could have sworn he heard someone talking. The wizard looked around his room and shrugged to himself before setting his gaze back at his desk.

"Master Malfoy! Master Malfoy!"

He jumped out of his chair and practically landed on top of the house elf that had been standing by his chair yelling at him. After a moment Ethan calmed down slightly and when the creature shrieked his name again, he simply blinked at it.

The two of them stared at each other for over a minute until, finally getting annoyed, Ethan growled, "What is it, Talley?"

"Master and Mistress Malfoy wishes you to pack!" Talley exclaimed, hopping up and down.

"Where are we going?"

"You is going to Spain, young Master Malfoy!"

As soon as the creature had finished talking, he disappeared with a crack and Ethan looked at the book with a hint of a smirk. So his Dad did actually follow the book, it seemed. In the back of his mind he had been thinking that his father had simply rewritten it to have the portraits off his back about it, or perhaps not to have to find out what would happen if he skipped the fifth generation rule.

He threw open his closet and studied everything that was in there.

"Spain...interesting choice, Dad."

* * *

**Author's Note:** Coming up! Malfoys in the sun! 


End file.
